Connection before content

The importance of connection before content. 

The pandemic dramatically changed the way we interact with colleagues and clients. Many are still working remotely or have settled into a hybrid routine that means less commuting – and less connecting with coworkers. 

It seems strange, but you can have a meeting-filled schedule—mainly on Microsoft Teams or Zoom, with some attendees turning off their cameras—and still feel isolated at the end of the day. 

I’ve been noticing this disconnectedness more and more with my facilitation work. I start my sessions with an icebreaker, and they’ve become super popular. I realize this is because people are starved for this face-to-face human connection. 

It’s a post-pandemic world, but we’ve just gotten into some habits and behaviours that aren’t genuine human connections. Online meetings are efficient and can bring together members from different locations and time zones, but connecting through a screen is impossible.

We can’t just blame the pandemic for everything. Over the past two decades, feelings of social isolation have risen exponentially.

Over the past twenty years, most people have spent 24 hours more per month in social isolation, and their social engagement with family members has gone down by five hours per month. 

Now, we have data that says people are lonelier and spend less time together, yet we spend an average of three hours and 15 minutes daily on handheld devices.

Not surprisingly, this negatively impacts our mental health and happiness, job satisfaction, and performance.

Whether introverted or extroverted, we need to connect with our coworkers. 

Here are a few ideas for bringing people together and making closer connections.

How Swede it is

A forest products client of mine acquired a lumber operation in Sweden a few years ago and imported a daily workplace ritual that’s part of Swedish culture.

It’s called “fika,” a ritual involving coffee, pastries and social connections. Each afternoon, the entire company – from the CEO to the janitor – gets together for 30 minutes, and there’s only one rule: you can’t talk about work. Talk about soccer, talk about travelling, talk about family, talk about anything but work. 

Since adopting this daily ritual, their workforce has connected and interacted more than ever. 

I’ve seen it with my own eyes: a senior vice VP standing beside a new employee, just talking, laughing, smiling, and connecting. 

Try it out with your team. The Swedes are really on to something here!

Building trust 

So why does it matter if colleagues are connected? Connecting personally builds trust, which is valuable to your team, business, and organization.

You share things about yourself, which moves us toward vulnerability-based trust, which helps fuel teamwork and productivity.

You may recall from past newsletters where I talked about Patrick Lencioni’s model of The Five Dysfunctions of a Team. Trust is essential because if we don’t trust each other or are vulnerable, we’re less likely to engage in healthy conflict. Instead, we’ll hold back and play it safe. 

The business reason for doing this is that the more connected we feel, the more courageous we’ll be in our conversations, problem-solving, and coming up with the next big idea or product.

Some will mistakenly think colleague connections are “nice to haves” – you know, that touchy-feely stuff. However, business cases are irrefutable when people feel more connected than they trust and engage in the behaviours we seek in highly motivated and effective teams. 

Not so happy hour

I’m sure you’ve worked somewhere where the good-intentioned manager hosted an optional happy hour on Friday or something similar. 

It’s usually a little awkward, and the turnout is generally spotty. 

If you’re serious about getting your team together and building connections, it can’t be an optional event and needs to be structured. 

Set aside a 30-minute get-together where you get your team to engage by introducing an icebreaker, encouraging them to share something about who they are and what matters most to them. 

Give them six or seven minutes to each answer a question, and soon, they’ll share and talk about personal things to connect and open up with each other. 

Here’s one of my favourite icebreaker questions: Tell the story of your name. Most first, middle and last names have interesting stories behind them. It’s personal and fun; you can learn something you didn’t know about someone you’ve worked with for 10 years.

For instance, I’m named after a Hollywood actor. Yes, there’s a story there. 

You can also try icebreakers at the start of meetings. It might be just 10 minutes. Having people feel safe, seen, connected, and trusted will pay dividends to your culture and bottom line. 

Take a field trip 

I always remember that feeling of excitement when we embarked on a school field trip. Even though you were with your regular classmates, it was thrilling to experience something new together. 

Try that with your team, and they will feel the same way. Visit a new microbrewery or a nearby coffee shop to support the local economy and watch the conversations and connections start. These social interactions will bring your team together in a new way.

Bring yourself to work day 

Most offices have a bring your kid or pet to work day. What about bringing your authentic self to work day? On this day, you get to share something that is uniquely you. It may be that you dress in a way that speaks to your background or culture, or you may share one of your unique interests. We are human beings, not human doings. It’s about showing up and being more open and vulnerable in the spirit of connecting.