Unwrap Joy, Not Stress: The Art of Saying No

I got levelled by a flu bug over a week ago. I was fortunate not to have to cancel any client engagements. I did, however, miss my working session with my team for the November Issue of my newsletter. Rather than break my streak of sending some insights to my loyal readers, I thought I’d send this reminder on how to navigate the month ahead of us, which we wrote in November two years ago.  

A couple of fresh insights:

I am not very good at being sick! I prioritize my health and well-being…big time. To that end, I have a hard time accepting it when a virus takes me out. I learned that being patient and being a good patient is a growth opportunity for me. 

Also, I have done a really good job of learning to say no to outings and social engagements without any guilt or FOMO; maybe too good of a job. Like any practice or principle, leaning too much into it can work against you. 

My commitment this holiday season is to say yes to a few more things and be present, enjoying connecting with new folks and old friends and finding ways to spread and experience joy. 

Learn how to say no to holiday stress

The Christmas holidays are a magical time of the year. But for many, it can quickly turn into Stress-mas.

Your personal and professional calendar is bulging like Santa’s gift sack. There’s the school Christmas concert, community events, the big family dinner – oh, and you’re hosting this year, the office party, lunches with your boss, clients and friends, etc. So many invitations! Of course, all this is in addition to decorating, putting up your lights, tree-shopping and last-minute gift-buying and wrapping.  

No wonder you can feel tired, bloated, sluggish and regretful by the end of December, which is a less-than-ideal way to start the new year.

In the spirit of giving, it’s time to give yourself the gift of a more leisurely holiday season. Here are a few tips that have helped me. 

Organizing your holiday calendar

If one of your annual traditions has become saying yes to every holiday invite and giving yourself serious festive fatigue, it’s time to get strategic with your calendar. 

There’s no shortage of demands on you socially and workwise, where you may be equally harried trying to tie a bow on all your year-ends. 

And to make things even more hectic, this is the first year since the pandemic began that many office parties and events are back on. 

So, it’s time to get more intentional with how you will spend time and energy over the holidays. That doesn’t mean saying no to all these events and parties – but it does mean not saying yes to every invite. 

We schedule social engagements and client catch-ups in December because it feels like we’ve got more time, but the opposite is true.

 We’ve all got friends or clients we haven’t heard from since last December, but they inevitably reach out to you for a holiday cocktail or lunch. So, this year, tell them you’d rather schedule something for February after the holiday rush.

Ditto for politely saying no to your neighbour’s open house or work function. 

 Just because others want to get together doesn’t mean it’s right for you or your family. So, there’s a little bit of personal resolve and courage involved in saying no and creating space in your calendar for the meaningful things you want to prioritize.

There will be parties you want to go to and enjoy and stay up late, and you should do it. Gatherings can give us a sense of comfort and joy. But also feel comfortable saying no and setting boundaries for yourself.

Keep your healthy habits 

Regardless of how you celebrate the holidays, there will likely be bottomless plates of food, sweet treats, and festive cocktails on hand.

Many participate in the Dry January after an indulgent December, but what if you didn’t have to do that? 

What if you decided to enjoy the holiday's social events but chose to be more in control and mindful of what you eat and drink? December is a time to relax and celebrate, but it doesn’t have to come at the expense of your health, sleep and regular routines. 

Just as you put events and parties in your calendar, try scheduling things like your workouts and other health-related activities such as walks or hikes. Don’t skip your workout to go to a luncheon that you’re not even that interested in attending but you feel pressured to go. Or do your exercise and then go to the luncheon. 

Plus, you can always have a plan to choose healthier substitutes when you are on the party circuit. For instance, veggies over cheese and crackers and sparkling water over rum and eggnog! It all adds up.

Gift yourself self-care 

The holidays are not always Hallmark moments. There’s a lot of stress, pressure and expectations. For many, depression kicks in at this time of year, and often complicated family dynamics make some dread getting together for the holidays. 

Be realistic and be extra kind to yourself and those around you. 

Enjoy the entire month and feel alive, present and grateful, but also recognize that we all have our limits. 

If you’re more introverted by nature, give yourself a gift like a book or a spa day. Treat yourself with extra care so you can feel re-energized and calm inside.

 This will help you enjoy the holiday season more and allow you to be more present at the events you choose to attend and the people you want to spend time with.